Breastfeeding Grief

I remember scouring the internet to find someone who could describe what I was going through when I did not meet my feeding goals with my daughter. I was devastated in a way that I had never experienced before. Despite giving EVERYTHING I had, I had failed.

Shame. Grief. Sadness. Depression. Hurting.

There was a dark cloud over me and I cried more tears than I had ever cried in my lifetime. It hurt to the core of my being.

Those oversupply posts on social media hurt. Why didn’t my efforts pay off? What had I done wrong? I wanted this so badly so why did this happen to me.

Looking back on my breastfeeding journey now, I have so much compassion. I can see all of the factors that led to low supply, breastfeeding refusal, and ultimately a slow transition from combo feeding to formula.

• Chronic stress and anxiety during my daughter’s extended NICU stay.

• Guidance that was not evidence based from medical providers.

• A body that does not respond well to a pump.

• Poor flange fit.

• PCOS

If you are dealing with grief, I would love to chat with you. I have been there and I know how much it hurts.